by Dominic M. | 6 min read | July 4, 2020 (My first ever blog through medium.com)

“ What I Learned in the Past Three Months of Home Quarantine ”

On Saturday night, I found myself smoking cigarettes right in front of our gate outside our home. Everything almost felt like a dream. I hope it was, but it’s a reality.

I was not into cigarettes ever since I’m a kid. I used to hate the smell of the stinking smoke and fumes of the burning plant material. It punches through my nose to the lungs, it’s just suffocating. Back in high school, there are lots of smokers outside our home, and most of them are minor and high school students just like me, ditching their classes just to be with their friends while others are workers of the mall beside us, loitering in their free time.

I pinch my nose every time I go outside just not to inhale the thing that we call as “second-hand smoke”. But now that the tables had turned, I’m now included in the category of the people lighting up a cigar and welcoming either a dozen or a pack of those little white sticks with small filters into their lives.

Yes, I had a taste of the cigarette. Yes, it is a whole new experience. But no, I am not ADDICTED to it.

I hate the smell, but not the taste.

I’m the person who likes to keep things in balance. My social life, my health, my financial needs, my wants, etc. Most people think that the people who smoke are BAD. Do you think so, too?

“Bad intentions lead to bad actions.”

What’s bad is the action that may lead yourself or influence others to addiction, abuse or even worse, DEATH. But have you ever tried to question, a person, a friend or someone you know who is smoking? What is their reason. Why do they smoke.

I bet most of you do not. And I did not, too. I just saw the reason behind it for it myself.

MY 3 MONTHS OF HOME QUARANTINE IS NOT AS GOOD AS THE LIFE OF THE RICH AND THE LUCKY

My dear family holds out our financial life stable, but the FAMILY itself is not stable. We’ve been going on like this for months, or even years. Everything is just inconsistent. Ever since my father lost his job abroad, he lost his will but not his pride. And that’s when his pride grew and grew much larger. A pride and a man always bedridden, ready to sleep for a long time. On the other side, my mother is hard-worker, giving her all just to feed us and finish our schooling. Her pure hardwork is enough, but the hardwork alone is never enough. Whenever I’m home, the air feels cold and everything is quiet. You can either compare it to an iceberg or a scene from the Cold War. Both of them doesn’t communicate well, we’re not that close. I hope we were.

But thanks to my mother (also to my Aunties who support me financially), I am holding on to my monthly allowance and finding ways to make money to support my education in the institution and a great university here in Manila, Philippines. I became a Reserved Officer Training Corps (ROTC) officer and experienced what PAIN where in not everyone could handle and just discontinue the journey, and the HAPPINESS behind that along with what you call your BUDDIES, BEST BUDDY and your SENIORS. So long, my friend, my teacher and my home.

Then I said to myself:

Leaving this dream, but living for another dream.

It may be luck or a blessing, but it doesn’t matter as getting into this university is where I will start to build another dream. I got so many dreams that when I enrolled I got confused and everything went with the waves of the ocean. If you know what I mean…

Today, I’m on a Business Degree Program but I’m planning to shift to either Computer Science or Computer Engineering Program if there’s a chance (well there’s always a chance, no matter what kind of test in life it is) if not, then I’ll continue my journey through this course and grab the opportunity through the transition.

To be a whatever you want to be, degree must be a DECORATION,

But your sets of skills and assets must be your AMMUNATION. -Author

I’m writing this article early in the morning, and at the same time I stopped and stare at my three pack of cigars, I am not even tempted. Why is that?

That is because of what I learned in my 3 months of quarantine.

Here are the following reasons:

1. I Found Myself

I found myself. I learned who I am. I knew what I really want to do. I knew what I don’t want to do.

There are lots of questions when you are to find yourself. From “why” to “how”. There are also big obstacles that you don’t know how to pass through. It is matter of JUMP or BREAKTHROUGH. You either jump high enough to pass the barrier or break it to know what it is made of. To learn who you are is to

question yourself,

“Why do I smoke?”

and answer it yourself too.

“I smoke to pleasure myself.”

“I smoke to forget.”

“I smoke to kill the bad memories.” (though you can’t kill the memories permanently, you kill it temporarily)

I knew what to do. I want to be a software engineer someday. Building the website and apps that could act as a bridge for the future. Having a business will be my sideline since I like to market my skills and everything that is tangible around me. I also like communicating with the customers, learning why do they want a particular item or service, how it is beneficial to them.

I knew what I don’t want to do. I knew that I want to stop being an idiot, resting myself for life and not enjoying the things around and outside your comfort zone. I don’t want to be like the shadow of my father that corrupts his soul, I want to be who I am and help who needs and wanted to live and love the life.

2. A Dream To Be Turned Into Reality

It is what it is, but it is not yet what it must be.

What do I mean? A dream will always be a dream if you don’t go for it. It goes through a phase just like plants, just like us, just like a cigarette. You never get the smoke without lighting it up. You never achieve the dream without acting upon it. Reaching for it is just reaching for the lighter. You have the right distance, you can get ahold of it, but you’ll never feel the heat of the dream.

Remember…

Once a lit cigarette hits the tip of the filter, you can either get rid of it or continue smoking.

The same works for the DREAM.

You can never put a limit on a specific dream, but make sure to have the resources to keep it that way so you don’t abandon it.

• Is dreaming big bad?

Well, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. If they don’t scare you, then they’re not big enough. The only thing that is holding you back from achieving them is yourself.

3. Fumes of the Burning Plant

They always say that, “SMOKING KILLS”, but the truth for others is

SMOKING SAVES.

Yes it does, it saved millions of lives around the world.

How?

Simple answer, a person gets to live another day by smoking and not by suicide.

Now, I hope that you are getting my point, and if not, you’re not reading too well. Lots of people die, day by day and night by night. Only to be found in the next morning or night hanging himself/self, blood on the floor or even disappeared. I wrote this article NOT TO PROMOTE CIGARETTES but to make the one who read this to be AWARE and APPRECIATE THE BEAUTY OF LIFE. This pandemic is a big problem, but in your home or someone’s home lies another problem. You are not the only one, take time to heal yourself, pray and remember that our LIVES are like a BURNING PLANT. Let it burn or let it breathe?

HOW DID I WROTE THIS?

• I was awakened while I was sleeping. I dreamt of myself writing this article so I tried to make it. It was almost 4 in the morning, I grabbed my phone, opened medium and wrote whatever comes out of my mind. I finished before 10am and saved it in my drafts to be published later.

If you are interested on my website projects…

Here’s my portfolio (to be updated):

http://www.notyourtypicalpinoy.com/

If you ever reached this part, thank you for reading. 🙂